Sinning for People's Approval

I recently read Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell and absolutely loved the book. I feel like the ideas in that book were what I've thought all along, but just written more eloquently (I'm liking the word "eloquent" lately). The part that challenged me the most is where he was talking about dealing with his own issues. I identified with him in so many ways. He said he came from a functional family so finding issues was a bit difficult. I am the same way. I mentioned in this blog before (or maybe an email to a friend) how it doesn't make sense that I have issues because I come from a loving family. I struggle to see how I am misguided or damaged. It seems that I am, but I don't understand what got me there. Bell mentioned that his issue was one of people pleasing. All of his actions were trying to please others. None of the actions seemed bad, but they weren't being done from the right reasons. Bell was trying to please people or get their approval. I fall into that same trap. I was raised as a well-mannered person and that I should always make a good impression because I am should be a good person. I think I lost the second part though and have focused much more on the just the impression or approval, not the person part.

Recently a close friend returned from Africa and has totally been changed by that experience. He now feels an intense calling to serve in Africa in some capacity. He is now trying to figure out what that looks like. I think that is just amazing, and I'm almost jealous of the passion that he has. I have felt something towards Africa and have been wanting to find a way to go in the next couple of years. I strongly support the One campaign and tell as many people as possible about it. But I don't have that intense drive to serve there. I wish I did, but I don't. Yet, I found myself wanting to find that intense drive so that my friend could better identify with me. I felt distanced a bit by his new passion and scared that my current passion (worship music) now has a secondary status in his eyes. I didn't want him to think differently of me because of where I was. I never acted on this fortunately because it's not how I feel right now. While I do realize that the plight of many Africans and the issues of social justice there far outweigh dealing with musical perfection, I'm just not there. I need to be ok with who or where I am. Actually, I don't need to be ok with that, but I need to be ok with the journey I'm on. My one purpose in life is to become the person God wants me to be. I need to pursue that above all else. Anything else is sinning.